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Innocent Until Proven Guilty- About Chris Brown

Why are we so quick to jump to conclusions about issues affecting young African American men? It has been reported that Chris Brown had a meltdown and threw a chair that broke a window because he was upset about a line of questioning from an interviewer on Good Morning America. However, there is no evidence he did this. All I saw was the interview, no chair throwing, no ranting and raving, just words on the Internet saying this occurred. Yet, people are so quick to denounce folks as thuggish, horrible or criminal or they want to put the raft of God on them. Persecuting the person without real evidence they actually did the crime. Aren’t we innocent until proven guilty?

Today I read that no one knows who threw the chair and broke the window. I even heard GMA asked him to come back to perform. Not sure about that, it too is a rumor.

What I am sure of is this? Chris Brown needs practice learning how to respond to questions he does not want to answer. He needs more PR training if he’s had any at all. In addition, he needs to stay in counseling because issues don’t disappear overnight. When you have witnessed your mother being beaten, and I am sure he probably was too, because abusers not only abuse the mother or father of the house hold, they spread the violence to the children too, that’s not something easy to get over. Psychological and mental abuse is too difficult to just grow up and get over. It takes years of counseling. I am hoping this young brother go back into counseling, not because I am accusing him of having a meltdown but because answering questions about what he did to Rihanna is still too difficult for him to discuss.

Finally, Chris Brown’s Cd is number one on ITunes today. So apparently what they say about young people is true. You know that phrase, “From the mouth of babes”. It’s hard to fool young people and make them go against folks unless they see it themselves. Like them- show me him slinging a chair and breaking the window and even if I saw that video, judgment still is God and the people who wish to prosecute him.

Sometimes talking helps, maybe not when you want it too, but one day...


Okay there must be something in the food. Otherwise, why are these young girls in their teens like 13 and up so sexually active? If they are not, they are trying to. I am so tired of talking girls into waiting. Well, begging them to. But it must be done. You know that adage, if I can help one person, then my life is not in vain. Well, I think those words might even be a song too. But talking does work. When you take an interest in teens and they began to trust you, good things can happen.

Imagine this! I saw a teenage girl whose mother asked me to work with. She wanted me to encourage her daughter to refrain from sex until she was eighteen. Every year I upped the age. “Can you wait until 16, you waited this long? Let's wait okay.” Then at 17, I would ask again, “Would you wait until 17?” I would talk about boys using girls, leaving them with babies, no future, diseases, etc. The young girl told me no way. She loved her boyfriend and would not wait any longer. She was like, “I waited three years.”

So my instructions from the mother were this. If she will not wait, call her dad and make her a doctors’ appointment. Her dad will take her for birth control and counseling because I cannot imagine my daughter having sex this young and I don't want to know. So at 17, I called the girls' dad. He was sad but they honor their word that if she waited one of her parents would go with her and assure that she understood how to protect herself. (It was their only daughter).

Well to make a long story short, the young girl went to the college I graduated from. She became the first college graduate of her entire immediate and extended family. She went through domestic violence with the boy, and she broke up with him. She called me and we talked throughout her college days. Imagine she has her BS degree in Social Work, her Masters' in counseling and is now working on her PhD. She called to thank me for helping and encouraging her to be something. I am so proud of her. Though she did not wait until marriage, she was able to come to her senses and do something with her life. She is now counseling teen girls.
Imagine that!

How Do You Know When It is Over?

There are so many women who are in marriages that make them so unhappy. Unfortunately, they refuse to leave because they are living lifestyles they enjoy. Plus having any man is better than not having one at all.

How Do You Know When Your Marriage is Over?

# When you call each other hurtful names regularly like fat so, stupid, B%#$ch, Bastard, etc.

# When you no longer want to feel his or her touch.

# when you can not communicate without arguments.

# when all trust is gone.

So what's a person to do, when you still love each other? Could counseling help?

Help the Teens (But it is so hard)

There are some teenagers you can talk too about staying out of trouble, getting an education and being a positive young man until you are blue in the face, still they will do what they want. It makes no sense to me at all to be so set on ruining your life. Why won't these teenagers listen? Okay several teens I know have had negative experiences in the last seven days.

1. Two were arrested and had to spend the night in jail for driving with no license and car insurance. These two young ladies 19 and 20 knew they were in the wrong. Both had to pay 300 dollars to get out of jail. You should see their mug shots. They are posing on the pictures. I talked to them prior to this happening and so did their parents, yet they still got behind the wheel of cars.

2. Girl who got pregnant 1.6 months ago and had an abortion is now pregnant again. You know the one who said that I didn't understand the girls in the hood. They got pregnant she said. Now she is 6 months pregnant, in college and riding to work on Metro Link. She is being laid off on the 27th and her boyfriend is acting like he didn’t get her pregnant. He doesn’t respond to her needs or requests. We warned her.

3. One 18 year is hanging around a teen who is bad news. I tried to talk to the both of them and offer some type of guidance, to no avail. They simply said no one can tell an 18 year old what to do. I was going over on Saturday to take Hill Harper's book, Letters to a Young Brother because they love to read, but I got a call last night that they were arrested and in jail because they stole more than 200.00 dollars worth of food out of their close friends' house. This friends' mom is pressing charges, mainly she says to help the good student who seems to be a follower and not a leader. Since it was under 300 dollars it is not a felony. I hope being in jail changes the one guy's mind about being a thug because grade wise he is straight A, street wise he is an F.

We have tried to get them into counseling, sports and other activities, colleges, and churches, to no avail. They are not bad, they just want to do what they want.

Pray for our teens they do not believe fat meat is greasy.