Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Ever been in jail?

I haven't and pray that I will never have that experience. I could not imagine been locked up like a criminal, unable to freely roam my home, yard and the stores. I would go mad as I become paranoid if I feel caged in. It's like I am alright with a door being closed with me on the other side as long I know I can open the door anytime I wanted too. Not if you told me it was stuck, I would do everything I could to get it open including bashing it in.

I was thinking about Paris Hilton sitting in jail today. I know that at least one jailers is treating her special in some kind of way. I mean think of it, you could make her stay quite comfortable with a big payday coming from the heiress.

I remember once my 18 year old nephew was in jail for having a cell phone of a professional football player in his possession. I kept telling him never to buy stolen property but no, as usual this teen never listen until it was too late. To make a long story short, he called after his second completed week in jail,

"Please auntie get me out. These dudes tried to punk me out by taking my food this morning."

“What do you mean," I asked?

"Well this one guy said he was still hungry after he ate his breakfast and he snatched my food and I fought him. I was hungry too and I knew if I let him take my food he was going to come after me everyday. Get me out cause they are going to jump me."

Needless to say, I hired a lawyer to expedite his case. He was freed, not charged because he really did buy a stolen cell. Because he was innocent I got the bail money back and he and his parents paid me the lawyer fees back. I know that I should have let him stay in for a good lesson learned but he actually spent almost 10 1/2 days in. The day I got him out you should have seen him. He walked out like he had something in his butt. He could barely walk and his hair was not combed. He was dirty looking like he had been working in a field.

"What happened to you?"

"Did they rape you?" I screamed!

"No!" He said loudly. "I didn't use the bathroom the whole time nor shower because I wasn't getting raped. "

"You haven't done number two in 10 days?"

"I was holding myself in. Plus the toilet was in the cell with me and another dude. There was no way to have privacy."

He had to go to the doctor because he was seriously constipated. So no I will do every thing I can never to go to jail.

Have you been to jail?


Shai said...

Dang! Rose that sound like something off a sitcom. I feel bad that I laughed when I read the part about him walking like something was in his butt. That is serious stuff to hold it in that long.

I hope he is on the straight and narrow now.

rosbeav03@yahoo.com said...

Hi Shai
Just think how funny it is when the family sits around reminising as in your post. Girl we are laughing with tears running down our faces. Yes. He on the straight and narrow now. He's much more mature and I think that scared him straight.

kathi said...

No, but only by the grace of God.

Rosemarie said...

What a lesson to be learned. Got poop stuck up his butt! I know he needed release and a shower. Is that physically possible to hold a BM for 10 days. He was determined not to be sodomized.

Nope never been in jail!

nic said...

OMG! As I was reading this, I was like "Nooo! I hope they didn't rape her nephew!". Thank god they didn't. I'm glad you got him out. And I hope he learned a lesson. I have a friend who’s locked up. He said that besides worrying about getting raped, stabbed, and thrown in "the hole". You also have to watch out for mold. He said the shower stalls are covered in mold, and for a week or so he wouldn’t get washed because they took his shower shoes. Everything is nasty in jail. People were getting’ rashes that couldn't be identified. I don't ever want to get locked up either. I don't know what I would do.


Luke Cage said...

Just the other day someone mentioned to me that they would hate for me to be in jail because my temper would get me killed or even worse! (we know what's worse than death right???-smile) But luckily, I have not been to jail and hope that nothing comes along that gets me placed in there neither!

Rose said...

I know Kathi....I co-sign with you and am very thankful and blessed.

Rosemarie he looked awful. You know how they have those mugshots of criminals-think about not combing your hair for weeks, first they don't get combs because it is a dangerous weapon. That's why you see people accused of crimes coming to court to enter their plea looking a mess. It was a good lesson for him. Is it physically possible to hold that long- yes it is. It is called locked bouls- I think. Most people I know who suffered this had to have immediate surgery- a friend of mine had to have much of her intestines removed- she developed this on her own- I think from stress, etc. My nephew was blessed he didn't need surgery but boy o' boy he needed a bath badly and my car needed to be freshen quickly. He was scared to take a shower because of those prison movies when the actor drop the soap and gets raped...

Rose said...

Yeah Nic- I went to a detention center to take the youths from our church and it was pretty much set up like a jail. They toss all the flip flops and these tennis shoes that you slip your feet into that are called boat tennis I think, they are tossed into a big heap and you select some to wear. I didn't even see pairs that had the same size. They wash all their clothes together so you don't even get your underwear back- you get someones' else. So yes I can see the infections, etc..this was for juveniles and we were told that the jails for adults were worse.

TJ said...

never been to jail. glad your nephew got out and is on the straight and narrow.

Belizegial said...


The story about your nephew is enlightening.

Glad to report that I've never been to jail. By the grace of God :)

Which is a good thing as the jails in our little corner of the world leave much to be desired.


The Brown Blogger said...

I've been there, but not for a long stint. It is everything your nephew said it was and then some. Luckily I only had 3 days in lockup over getting tailed while driving over 100 mph. I knew I was getting out, so that saved me mentally.

I wouldn't live long if I had to do a real stint. Like Frank I too have a temper. And pride.

BostonPobble said...

Bless his heart, scared straight is right. Sounds as if he had just the right amount of jail time: enough to straighten him out and make him take it seriously, not enough to do any long term psychological damage or turn him into a hardcore criminal.

Never been to jail. There was always the little switch in my head that flipped Just In Time when things were about to cross from crazy to down right stupid.

Dr. Deb said...

Never been to jail, but my husband goes all the time. He;s a lawyer. He tells me how difficult it is just to visit. I can't imagine.

gina said...

Constipation is a small price to pay for taking the easy way out! What luck he had a auntie that had a way to make something happen for him! I have never been to jail, but I have had to bail out or contribute to the bail at least 3 siblings.

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