What would you do if someone you really cared about came to you and said, “I’m pregnant,” and they were only 18, just graduated from high school and had received three letters of acceptance to attend college? What would you say, if you asked, “By who,” and she answered, “you don‘t know him, he’s twenty.” Then you inquired as to what he does professionally and the person respond, “he sell drugs?”
That’s the dilemma that a young girl is facing now who I have worked with through various programs. She is conflicted with having an abortion because she doesn’t believes in them, yet she wants to go to college, get a job and progress in life. She knows that having a child is going to hamper or even stop her because she lives in a house with too many people in it already, does not have a car, or job, and will not be able to receive assistance from the State of Illinois unless she is in school. Even then it will only be a stipend of about $97.00 bucks a month. Just maybe she might be able to receive a little more but that is only if she is in school.
Now this is the problem. She will have to drop the baby off at a child care center on the bus then catch a bus to the Metro-Link rail train to college and do it again near the end of the day. Who will buy the pampers, baby clothes, etc/ I mean how long can she expect to be with the drug dealer, they usually don’t last long due to getting killed, arrested, etc. These are the questions I asked.
Personally I believe she got pregnant on purpose. It was something she said. “Everybody got babies now.”
I said, “Every body does not have a baby. Too many teens are going to college.”
“They probably leaves their children with their mother. In my community, in the ghetto they do.”
"I work with many girls in your community so that is not a true statement.”
“Well, my boyfriend said he will help me.”
“Did he ask you to marry him? Did he say I love you so much I want to put you up in an apartment, buy you a car so you don’t have to walk?”
“No he didn’t. He wants me to have the baby. I said I was getting an abortion.”
“Call him now. Ask him how will you and he take care of the baby.”
She dials his number and leaves a message about taking care of the baby for 18 years.”
Two nights later he still had not called her.
She asked me to take her to get an abortion. She got the money from her mother and granny and her graduation gifts. Her grandmother believes if she has this child, she is going to give up. I don’t believe in abortions period. I am not taking her at all. She has researched this on her own.
I told her I will not take her but she had to be absolutely sure she wanted this as I know she does not believe in abortions either. But the boy promised to be with her if she had his child. But still, he will not return her calls or give her money for the abortion and has already claimed to have bought the baby some socks and t-shirts.
Finally, I can see in her eyes that she only wants the child cause her circle of friends are all pregnant or have a baby. But knows that she will end up unable to financially care for the child and her family has already informed her that she will have to get out of their home because they have no room for a child. She has scheduled an abortion for Friday morning. She is conflicted and I am too.
I don’t believe in abortions but I know where all this is heading. If the boy will not call her now, just think, she is definitely going to be alone.
I know she has been in several of our safe sex classes, abstinence classes, and in our rap sessions about how much money it takes to care for an infant. Why won’t these kids listen?