Tuesday, October 31, 2006

I have accepted a challenge from Princess Dominique to blog everyday for the month of November. It's on!

To Renny with Love

When I was around five years old I lived with my parents and other family members in a red brick duplex with a brick walled in porch. My sisters and I spent many hours on the porch playing with our dolls and combing through their hair. Along side of us was our best friend, Lorenzo, also known as Renny.

Renny was a beautiful caramel colored boy with blue-greenish eyes. He had one gorgeous older brother. They lived with their mother. I don't remember a father in the home. He was our best friend and unbeknownst to us he was gay. As children we just knew that he was our friend and we loved him dearly. He played rope, jacks and other games with us.

It wasn't until years later that we found out that he liked being girly because we had never heard of the word, gay. Still we loved him and didn't care.As we grew up and became teenagers, Renny started dating guys. Still we loved him. It was something I guess we expected. After all, he was the only boy who could jump rope better than us. He even braided the dolls hair better.Renny's mother knew that her son was gay. She was beautiful, friendly and loved both of her sons dearly. She didn't treat him different, nor did his big brother who loved him. His big brother was not gay.

We stayed in touch until about 8 years ago when the beautiful dapper dresser came to visit us at my moms' house. He came to tell us that he had AIDS and didn't have much time. We spent the whole evening with him. He was going to leave us to meet his boyfriend. He was dressed in all-white cotton suit; you know the one that Don Johnson used to wear in the Miami Vice show. He had on some nice shoes without the socks and he was in a limousine. He told us that he and his longtime boyfriend were wealthy. Looking at him with tears in my eyes, he was absolutely beautiful....

I miss my friend, he died shortly after that last visit. Today it seems that there is a huge surge in people admitting that they are gay. Someone sent me some pictures of Alicia Keyes with a woman and she seemed very romantic with her on a beach, hugging and touching and on one it looks like she was kissing her. The next day I received pictures of her being arrested for beating her girlfriend up. These pictures doesn't necessary means she is gay but people are really thinking she is now. Who cares is my question but it does seems lately that alot of folks are coming out of the closet. For many women who finds that their men are on the down low its' not enough of them coming out.

In college I researched this topic for my sociology class and interviewed more than thirty gay people. I learned much about this topic that it was environmental and hereditary. I learned that many people knew that they were different at a very young age, even at age 3 and 4 but were afraid to be open with it. Renny's mother knew too and she allowed her son to be who she knew he was and still she loved him.

I have three male friends who are gay. Two are having problems with their fathers, one with his mother. Two of my friends are very successful and wealthy, have great parties and are the most beautiful souls in the world. It hurts that they long for acceptance from their fathers who are angry with them. It pains me to hear their stories and the love and acceptance they need but are not getting from their families. One friend is destitute. His mother is wealthy but will not help her son and will not let others in the family help either. He is very sad and lonely.

It seems that lately everybody is gay or they are accused of being gay. But I understand their need to only tell folks who will not judge them. I am not a judge. I don't have a right to do that. All I can do is love my friends, because that is what I suppose to do. I just believe that it is a lot more to this gay issue than any of us will ever know. To you Renny, you are missed and were truly loved.


Miz JJ said...

I think you hear more lately about people being gay, clearly everyone is *not* gay. I think part of what is killing us as a black community is our refusal to accept gay people. Instead of being open and admitting that they're gay men are engaging in gay sex and coming home to spread the disease to women. We, as black people, need to stand up and say there is nothing wrong with being gay and I love my gay family members and friends. It's not up to us to judge people.

Michelle said...

Glad you had that one last visit with your friend. I love that he was so full of life and always embraced who and what he was from day one. He sounds like he had a wonderful mom and brother as well as good friends like you who supported him!

Belizegial said...


Thanks for sharing about Renny. The good die young, they often say.

Have a safe and happy halloween.


The Best [ Ghostface ] said...

Hello Rose

Over at Hassan’s blog you left a comment after I left a comment, I made a comment about civil war, North Korea, Iraq, and the next President whether Democrat or Republican will have no choice but to continue President’s Bush’s political agenda. Below id what you said in response to my comment over at Hassan’s blog.

At Hassan’s blog Rose said...
This is so real. People need to take this stuff serious. Your thoughts on the escalating war and other issues are on target. Things are going to get worse. I don't see us living the same life we have been living...a change is coming no matter who is in office.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006 2:53:25 PM
Chance: So I decided to see who you were and visit I could say a lot about this issue a certain friend of mine died of AIDS his last year on earth was painful and sad watching him deteriorate physically and his body started have a certain bad odor that the AIDS medications were producing. He was so unhappy I felt powerless and sad because I could not stop his suffering. He cried sometimes and his family had abandoned (his bother and sister) him his mother had already died. When she was alive she would help him out with money etc. I wrote an essay titled Black Americans and the gay marriage issue at my website. It deals with under cover black bi-sexual men. I will say that my website is controversial because of the intellectual topics I write about. Some people hate me and other people love me for my writings they are controversial no all but some. I am a free thinker and independent. You can also go to the search box at my blog and type gay and all my essays on gay will come up.


Take care, Rose

By Chance

Luke Cage said...

It always hurts to know people are ostracized for political affiliation, religious beliefs and sexual preferences. To some it means so much about who's gay and who is not, and to others, they simply choose not to judge.

I don't judge. While being gay is one's personal preference, I am of the mindset to each their own. One of my buddies from the military came out and told me he was gay after many years of friendship.

Although he had nothing to go by when wondering how I would react to his news, he believed I was going to be done with our friendship when he did reveal it to me. I told him that I didn't care.

We are still friends to this day.. This was a nice post for your friend. Its good to know that some gay people will have folks like you to stand by them regardless of their preference.

princessdominique said...

Hey Rose thanks for taking the challenge. I'm goimg to be a blog reading somebody in November huh? Sorry to hear about your friend. I lost someone too. It's never easy but the memory is what lives on forever.

African girl, American world said...

I grew up in a culture where the word gay was even said. When I grew up it didn't take long for me to love people for who they are and not who they sleep with.
I refuse to believe that anyone would choose a gay lifestyle KNOWING how much they stand to lose and how much they'll be riduculed.
RIP to your friend who was put in your life to teach you a beautiful lesson in life.

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