Wednesday, February 15, 2006


Screaming as Loud as I can

There are times when I really feel like screaming and cussing someone out. Yeah I said that and it makes me feel pretty good. You see I have always tried to be an upstanding citizen. I try to treat others with respect even when they do not deserve it. I avoid conflicts or folks who are deemed trouble makers. I have a very high tolerance level for dealing with folks who are loud, liars, lazy, and those who try to destroy relationships out of revenge, jealousy or rage. I really pray hard to keep myself centered. But right now I feel like screaming as loud as I can to relieve these bad thoughts that I have of someone. How come I feel like being so bad? I only hope that the way I feel today will not affect how I treat folks who are appreciative of receiving blessings. What I mean by this is: I have been very good to someone who truly was an evil devil dressed in white precious clothing. This person was so fake and everyone knows it. Pray that I will not let this sour person change how I feel toward those who may ask for help and really need it. I pray that I will not be changed by this negative energy.

Have you ever helped someone and regretted it so badly that it changed the way you will do things in the future?

47 comments:

TeeBee said...

Yes! It's unfortunate that one person can make you change the way you do things for other people, but it happens.

Shirazi said...

No, Not still.

BostonPobble said...

"How come I feel like being so bad?" Wanting to scream and rant when someone has betrayed you is not ~ NOT ~ being bad. It is allowing yourself to feel the anger that is deservedly yours. Even what we call "negative emotions" can be positive when they are appropriate responses and handled appropriately.

Georgiapeach said...

Girl, you know it! I have had so many problems with trying to help folks who ended up doing me wrong. But I definitely have learned from my mistakes which is a good thing. I once allowed a homeless guy move in (he was young, a friend of ours) for two weeks. He had no place to go. He would have been on the streets. Do you know he robbed us. He was stealing from us, searhing through our things and finding money we had hidden. I have had many cases like that, and from each one I learned a lesson. Take it as another lesson learned Rose. BTW: How is your neice? I hope she is okay.

chele said...

Just men. I used to love to cook for men. For anybody really -- which is part of the reason why Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. However, since my recent breakup I have decided that no man is worthy of eating my cooking ever again.

Brea said...

You need to find a healthy way to release that anger. Anger is only bad when we keep it inside - so many people forget that. Express it now so that it doesn't change the giving heart that is your strength.

Brea said...

Write a letter, a poem, create art - something. Just get it out. Best of luck to you and sorry this person hurt you.

ByeBye said...

I only regretted being nice to someone I knew was going to treat me like sh*t in returned, if I can turn back the hands of time I would take back my actions, follow my gut instinct, and just stay far away from them. I actually got my feelings hurt because I thought we were the best of friends and in the end it got ugly with their own lack of compassion for someone else.

Anonymous said...

I never regret anything I do. I believe fully that all things happen for a reason. I'm always warm and filled with goodness. Sometimes I do feel like I need revenge but, I shake it off and give to the Lord. I come to find out that it's not my battle.

I love all my enemies.

I wanted to just say this one last thing that I think is weird about me. I treat everybody nice all the time but, at times I do have the sprouts of rage and I start yelling and cussing folks. One time I slap piss from some mouth. I can't control my anger when it does surface. So this is why I don't talk when I'm mad and half the time I don't even listen.

Well, Rose I hate when people leave me their entire story on my page so I guess I end this way.

Love you Rose. Still after you betrayed me, misused me, and treated me like I was a roach on your wall. I love you and I smile when I said it b/c I truly do love you and all the others that think they are getting over. I love you but, I'm glad you showed me your true colors. See I knew God made me this way for a reason. People talk to me about everything even about their ‘Friends’ isn’t that right Rose. Thank you. I say this now. Even If I do get fired for something petty and for someone dislike for me. I still love you b/c my God that I know is a glorious God and He keeps me forever.

And of Course I'm Anonymous.

Cinthia said...

That person must have really done you wrong, I'm sorry. But you're right, you shouldn't let this particular situation affect future dealings with people. Take a deep breath, scream in private if you must, but stay cool under fire. Good luck!

Georganna Hancock said...

Ooo, yeah! A former co-worker lead me into helping a homeless woman about six years ago. I'm still waiting for her to pay back the hundreds of dollars lent to get her into an apartment.

AsianSmiles said...

Ah, yes Rose, it happens. I just don't know how some people could take advantage of the generosity of others.

Dr. Deborah Serani said...

ABSOLUTELY.

princessdominique said...

Yep. I helped people I'm sorry I helped but your good does not go unpaid or unrewarded. I know I did it out of the kindness of my heart so its all in love.

Ruben said...

I have been mistreated by some people who were very important to me and it changed how I see and interact with people.

BostonPobble said...

Hey Rose, I just read through the comments. Please, please, please ignore the comment anonymous left. That isn't Christian love or forgiveness (trust me, I'm a thrid generation preacher's kid ~ I know Christian love and forgiveness.) That was petty, passive agressive b.s. cloaked in God. Remove the comment if you want/need to. Forgive the person. Ignore the person. Hell, cuss and rant and rave about the person ~ that's why we're here, to listen to each other. Just please, don't listen to her.

Brownsoul said...

all the time. the biggest thing is money. Lending money to people and expecting them to pay it back when they say they will is one of the fastest ways to lose friends. I don't lend. If I have it, I'll give. If not, oh well. But yeah, there are plenty of things that we do for people and end up regretting because not everyone knows how to act or is truly appreciative of favors. Family members, for example, often times feel like you're obligated to do for them and will waste no time asking for favor after favor with no real appreciation or return.

This too shall pass.

Ironman said...

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Rose said...

Teebee:
I went to church today and I song two solos. I do sing. The songs chosed me and they were 'Just a Closer Walk with Thee' and 'Holy'. You know what I feel better because I know I have been honorable in all my relationships.

Shirazi: I am okay.

Bostonpobble: Thanks. I feel better after being so angry.

Rose said...

GeorgiaPeach: I have definitely learned something vaulable with this lesson. BTW: My neice is eight months pregnant. She is still in the relationship, no changes. She is still afraid of the guy. I think he is not hitting her but I think he verbally abuses her. We have tried everything. We have talked to several police officers and they all say the same thing, she must make up her mind. So far though she is saying that he is not hitting her, just getting on her nerves. But she is the skinniest, saddest pregnant person I have ever seen in my life. I will be in the delivery room with her and my sister (her mother). If he is there I may change my mind though. But she wants me there. Her name is in the prayer box.

Rose said...

Thanks Brea: I really did sing it out of me. Singing makes me feel better. I actually let it bothered my health. Blood pressure went up and that has never happened. But that whole situation really hurt me and I didn't realize how much. I did go to the doctor and I am fine. I will not let this affect how I help others in the future. Things happen for a reason. It will show itself to me soon.

Rose said...

Chele: If it was a man it wouldn't have bothered me. Shamefully I expect men to hurt us. Isn't that so sad?

Rose said...

Envizable: I never received any feelings from this relationship. It was all so good. It happened so quickly. Sorry you had a bad experience too.

Rose said...

Anonymous I won't remove your post or comment.

Rose said...

Cinthia: actually writing about it here helped me. That's why I like blogging it does helps to relieve stress. I was shocked but I won't let it affect me. My brother who nevers says much, called out of the blue two days ago and said God will bless you because you have such a good heart and have helped so many people. You are a great person. Guess what? He didn't even know what I was going through.

Rose said...

Georganna: Don't you just expect people to borrow and never pay you back. But I extended myself way out more than I would for most because I love teenagers and young adults. They have been my life and love for many years. None whom have hurted me emotionally.

Rose said...

Asiansmiles: they do and don't care one bit. It is about themselves and what they can get out of others.

Rose said...

Dr. Deb:
That made me smile.

Rose said...

Princess: You are right. Knowing that I expected nothing out of extending my hand, but what happened here was not just someone doing one thing. This person tried to destroy relationships with lies. The folks she said things too all discussed it. The things were clearly very revengeful things. Most of the folks came to me and we talked but if the person had told truthful things about me, I wouldn't have been mad. But since they did not have anything negative about me to say, they made up stuff that was so stupid that the folks told didn't even believe it.

Rose said...

Bostonpobble: You see what I mean. I don't have to remove the comments because it makes the person intentions come out loud and clear. There is no christianity in those statements. But that is the same act that pulled so many of us in the net. Sadly they don't even know that christians don't malign, lie to destroy and cause disention. Trust me: No one is listening anymore accept those who may like gossip and problems and that is only one or two people. But they are only listening not out of care but joy for trouble. You saw right through that, didn't you.

Rose said...

Brownsoul: This truly will and have passed.

Rose said...

Ruben: I think we all have been mistreated in some way or another. But I think sometimes we come to expect certain things to happen. It messes up your mind when nothing provoke problems but the person who did the act.

Rose said...

ironman: thanks for stopping through. I will visit you.

Trudy Booty Scooty said...

The urge to scream....lol Oh my, can I relate to that feeling!

There are more good people in this world, thankfully, to outweight the evil ones.

E said...

I'm glad you released that tension. Just don't let one monkey stop the show.

Rose said...

Trudy: Thankfully there are more good than bad.

Rose said...

E: I won't. I'll keep pushing. As a matter of fact, I am helping another young person.

"N" Search of Ecstasy said...

unfortunately I feel like this a little more often than I would like to.

for_the_lonely said...

Yes, I have!!! We actually helped out a neighbor GREATLY, and he turned out to be a complete psycho! We once had to call the cops on him, as he threatened to shoot us! We were all in the courtroom a few months later for the hearing ( he got into a lot of trouble for various things), he was sentenced as guilty for everything. As he walked out, he said " I'm gonna kill you, B**ch!" Wouldn't you know that instead of probation, he was scentenced to his jail term right then and there just for that! It is sad, but now we just keep to ourselves, because we have been burned too many times by people that were supposed to be friends. We just do not have time for drama anymore, ya know?

Love ya,
Sarah

Nella said...

I know how you feel! This has happened to me many times before to the point where I kept doing it over and over again. I have now learned that I dont need to put up with someone like this... why should I? I like this post.

Shawn said...

I've had more than a few instances where I extended myself to someone and they repaid kindness with evil. Everytime it happens I become real stingy with my support and refuse to help anyone for long periods of time.
Then I have deal with people saying "you didn't such and such for so and so, why not for me?"

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