Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Is a secret really a secret?
Is confidentially really confidential?When someone says, 'I have something to tell you and please don't tell anyone', what would you do? Is confidentially really confidential? I mean when someone says not to tell, do you? I have to be honest-it depends on the situation. There are some things you have to tell, like things that would harm others, things that would stop your company from making profits, like if you found out someone was stealing and it was reported but the person who told you said, don't tell. I have to tell but I always tell the person I can't keep that information secret. Or I will tell the person when they first say please don't tell, I let them know I may have to depending on the situation. But I wonder if secrets are really secrets. Let me say this. My husband and I are close so when someone tells me something that's ridiculous or that is too hard to believe I talk it over with him. So really I broke ‘the don't tell thing’ right?
There are other times I just have to tell my best friend. See I tell her that too, "don't tell". But who knows she may tell someone but I never find out. Or if it is too good to hold, I begged the person who told me to let me tell. I talk about this because they are things that folks have said behind others' back that's so detrimental to a persons' character and reputation and even still there are lies that folks make up just to get revenge on another person so they tell someone on their job, don't tell what I am about to tell you. But what that person failed to realize is this-everybody tells when they think you are a trouble maker, when they know the other person better or when the person that you are dogging out is in management and they tell to get ahead you know like loyalty. They tell.
I know many folks who lied about a coworker or a supervisor to another staff because they thought they could trust the person and that person couldn't wait to tell. Yet the person walks around as if they have never said a word but everybody knows what they did because not only did the person who made up the lie spread rumors, the person they told spread what they said. Then the person who was lied on told other people so they wouldn't trust the liar with anything they didn't want exposed. So the person sits around thinking their secret was kept because they think they told the most trustworthy person a bunch of mess and Ms. Trustworthy couldn't wait to tell. As soon as they were told they ran as fast as they could
So I ask you this: Is a secret really a secret? Is confidence in someone really confidentially when you can't keep a secret? The moral of this sorry is: if you are going to talk about someone you might as well talk to the person you are having the problem with. I say this because the person you are talking about is going to find out anyway. In my opinion, there are no secrets, only folks who think there are. So if you don't want people on your job to know that you have said horrible things about them, don't tell folks at work. Tell your friend or spouse away from the office if you must talk about someone. That way you save face on your job should your secret be exposed. So if you don't want something to get back to others, keep the secret to yourself.