Sunday, December 04, 2005

Should marriages have timelines?



What do you think about this? I recently joined in a conversation by a group of men who were talking about marriage. The premise was this, marriage should have a timeline. One guy said it should be a law that marriages should be terminated on the 1oth year. He felt that this was the time that boredom set in and the roving eyes really started. The other men were in agreement.

What do you think? Should marriages have a timeline. If we had the choice to set timelines on our marriages, would you
?

42 comments:

Berry said...

If my marriage were going to have an expiration date, I wouldn't even bother. I mean really, what's the point?

jazeGma2 said...

Very good question. I really don't know if I could say yes marriages should have a timeline. But I do know if I did say yes compared to yesterday with my family I would have said yes. I would have been the one who said, "this is it"

Deirdre said...

Heck No!...it's called "Til Death Do Us Part" for a reason!!!!:)

I wouldn't even want to get married if say November 11...2010 my marriage expired...I would be so crushed...:)

Interesting Post:)

Brownsoul said...

What about starting a family? Isn't that not a huge part of deciding to marry? So, if in 10 years you have a couple of kids, do you just break up and subject them to visitation drama?

If you put an expiration date on it, you may as well agree to shack up until the boredom sets in. That way you can avoid the legal drama.

As for me "Til death do us part..." If he wants out in 10 yrs, I hope he's prepared a will!

Deb S. said...

I just listened to a minister talk about how in this society, many people see marriage as a contract - capable of being broken - rather than seeing marriage as a covenant. I am inclined to agree with that observation.

Marriage should be about commitment. I think Berry says it best.

Brownsoul said...

*"is that not..."

**blushing**

Shirazi said...

No. Marriage is an institution for perpetuity of human race. It will not be able to faction if it had a time line like service. Another reason marriage not having a timeline is that one prepares for living together in marriage. What is the fun of investing if you have to live alone at the end?

And here are other moral and much better ways to walk out of marriage if it does not work.

Hasan Mubarak said...

What's the purpose of marriage then? If that should be the case then why should not people live together for a period without exchanging promises and wedding rings??

It'll be ridiculous to limit this holy relationship to such a timeline...

NellaBella said...

I find it very stupid to have a time line. I mean, why would you want that in the first place? Everything happens for a reason, sure things my not work out, but that doesn't mean marriage should be put on a timeline.

Its like them saying they don't care about anyone else but theirselfs.

Its just stupid.

Anonymous said...

Why should we marry if we're planning to separate from our sacred vows in the first place. For most I guess boredom does set in around the 10 to the 13yr of marriage--- and people start roaming elsewhere. The divorce rate in our country is at its all time high. So why marry if love doesn't last?

Call our society the Id as Freud explains in his theory. The only fault here, we're not babies but grown adults who cries when things don't go our way.


brainstormN

defiant goddess said...

Oi. I can't believe grown men would even consider something so preposterous. If you don't want to be together *forever*, then date, fool. Just date. Don't have kids, don't join property and finances. Just date.

Oi vey.

truckdriver_sefl said...

I agree with Berry why bother. A couple of things though. I think it should be a law that you cant marry before say 25. I got married at 19 and am now 45 and still married. The thing is I was in love at 19 but was in love at 19 the same as at 45? I had no idea who I was at 19.What scares me is when our kids are gone what then. We really have nothing in common anymore as sad as that is.

princessdominique said...

People need to work hard to keep the magic going instead of sitting idly around and waiting for it to fizzle. That's my opinion on it.

BostonPobble said...

Personally, I don't think marriage *should* be anything. This is a covenant between two people and "til death do us part" is not a necessary part of the marriage vows. To tell someone that their marriage *must* dissolve after ten years or to tell someone that their commiment wasn't valid because the marriage only lasted four years seems equally troublesome to me.

Brea said...

I still believe in forever. It may be a lot of work - but nothing worth having is easy.

Dee said...

naaahhh not a good idea. Everybody is different.....

I got bored around 7 years and it took my ex 10...........

I will say marriage is HARD work...

Ruben said...

This is freaky because my barber was discussing this with me. He's 65 and thiks there should be a law to help someone end their marriage after a certain amount of years. lol

Stephen Bess said...

I feel that any marriage that is not truly and sincerely joined by God will inevitably have a timeline.

TeeBee said...

I only plan on getting married once when the right person comes along. If that person thinks there should be a timeline for marriage then he's not right for me. Simple as that.

E said...

Wow...that's an interesting idea. What ever happened to now and forever?

alan said...

Next year will make thirty for us; glad we and the marriage haven't expired yet! 2 sons, 3 grandkids, retirement to look forward to (if there is such a thing anymore); it's gone by in a flash!

astrorat said...

i agree with what generally written here. By defining marriage along a time line, it is essentially not just making it something else, but is also making a mockery of it. To propose that marriage should have an expiry is illogical. But for those who want less commitment, there "cohabitation".

Lets leave good old marrige where is is! pleaseee... :)

Unconquerable Soul said...

I don't believe marriage should have a timeline. I think if people are in love and are soulmates, there isn't enough time in the life on earth to learn from each other. That's just how i feel

for_the_lonely said...

No, I do not think that there should be a time line...what a shame, really...I love my wife endlessly, and would hate to think that 7 years from now (we've been together for 3) that I'd have to be without her. I'd be a total mess...I guess some people do get bored easily, but if that is the case, then why ever marry?

Hope all is well with you! Hugs to you!

Love,
Sarah

MeCrazyMe said...

I look at it like this. When you agree to something whether verbal or on paper. It is a contract and in some cases all a contract can be broken, so why not an expiration date? I sort of agree but then again it is until death do you part.

***Double_Oh_No*** said...

As messed up as my own marriage is at this point, there is no way I'd go for time-limit matrimony. We should ask ourselves, where did marriage originate?

From the Bible, right?

So why would we try to alter God's design for relationships? It seems that this country is doing a good enough job of making amendments to societal norms by slowly evaporating His word. It's so sad.

Dr. Deborah Serani said...

No timeline for me.


~Deb

Clay said...

i think marriage is so complex - the idea of being w/ the same person for the rest of your life is sometimes odd. believe or not marriages do have a expiration date - sometimes it is 2 yrs or 10. i hear people say - well my grandparents were together for 50 years ... but 50 yrs was a different world. that was before black folks had the right to vote, before women had rights on domestic violence, when the only violet is STD was a gonnerha .. etc. the times they are a changin'

Groove said...

I think anyone who thinks this shouldn't even consider being married.

I am not surprised that men thought this though. It's a crying shame!

brooklyn babe said...

No it should not. Folks should get married when their ready.
And if you got in mind, in ten yrs you'll be bored, then you're not ready.
Like a couple who had been married for 50 yrs once told me.
Its great when two ppl can sit together and enjoy a comfortable silence together.
I look forward to those "boring" moments.
You can go out there and get that "excitement" and catch the clap.
No thank You!

nosthegametoo said...

Why get married then? I think many people don't take commitments and vows (of any kind) seriously anymore. We want all of the social privledges of doing whatever we want, but none of the social responsiblities. We do our best to redefine them so that we can have our cake, your cake, and everyone else's cake and eat it without being judged. For me, I'll make the vow, or I won't.

jus-writing said...

The only lifeline marriage should have is a LIFETIME until DEATH DO US PART.

Lady E said...

What would be the point if you were going to have a expiration date?

Lady E said...

I still believe in love. PERIOD!!!

NellaBella said...

X-mas Cards!!

Hi there! I am doing my x-mas cards now. So if you would like one, please send me your home address or another one you have that you send it to. E-mail at kittylover_princess2005@yahoo.com. Thanks!

Your Friend,
Nella S.

crallspace said...

You mean set a divorce date on marriages? No way.
The only marriage laws I wish to see changed are those that discriminate against same-sex marriage.

As a cure for the wandering eye, may I suggest porno.

lady in satin said...

Hahaha!! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life!! And imagine...those comments come from men, of course!! Heck no...I don't think marraige should have a time limit. That's all I have to say about that!

Kayla said...

That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. No. I wouldn't do it. I believe the vows have "Til Death do us part" for a reason. In my opinin, that's just their way of saying, I can't commit. Marriage is work, work, and more work. People these days like to redfine things to suit their needs. If you aren't trying to "do the time" so to speak, why get married?..Happy New Year! lol

Beauty said...

I agree with anyone who disagrees with this idea.

Marriage is commitment, partnership, like Kayla said HARD WORK, AND INVESTMENT. THIS IS NOT A MAGIC PILL and PEOPLE NEED TO GET THAT IDEA OUT OF THEIR MINDS!! Of course sometimes it doesn't work at all and it's better to seperate/divorce, but if you already plan WHEN all this is gonna end then why even start? It's like wanting to start your own company TELLING YOUSELF that INEVITABLY 5 years from now you'll go bankrupt. If you KNOW it or BELIEVE that will happen, in other words if you DON'T BELIEVE in what you wanna do, then WHY THE HELL DO YOU DO IT???

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