What to do to stop bullying! If a child’s has been told that he is valuable, beautiful and so wonderful by their parents, bullies will have a more difficult time getting the results they want out of name calling and pushing other kids around. My mother told me that I was the best; she praised me, and told me that I could do anything I want to be successful. She made sure I valued me. We talked a lot about appearances, clothes, life and she worked hard to teach all her children to have a positive self-esteem. In high school there was a lot of bullying going on. One young girl was teased relentlessly about her appearance, her hair, and her clothes. She was kicked and pushed around. I saw it. I stood up for her. I asked the kids who were doing this- why would you do this? What is it about yourself you hate so much you’re willing to hurt others? Then I would help pick the girl off the floor and invite her into my group of friends. One girl is a very successful lawyer but I will never forget the tears she shed being bullied. Mom told us to not pick on kids, and to befriend kids who were left out. Building a kid’s self-esteem is a way to help him or her deal with bullies. I’ve held rap sessions in schools and at church and we allowed kids from the community to attend. We discussed various issues like appearances, why kids bullied, how to stand up for others without becoming a victim. We brought in others to co-sign with us and they too gave strategies. My daughter is the same way I was. I taught her that she was beautiful and wonderful and told her never to let others tell her different. She never had fights in school; if she saw someone sad she engaged them. Bullying has increased because so many kids are unhappy at home. So they bully others to feel better. Schools need to have peer group sessions, to give kids a chance to talk in a safe place. They need to bring social workers back into the schools. You have to address why these kids are so depressed and troubled before you can really enact change. They also need to train staff to intervene, and to encourage kids not to participate in that kind of negative stuff. Counselors in schools should have some training sessions to increase children self-esteem, build their communication skills, and increase their feelings of self-worth. This should be for the child who is bullying and for those who are bullied. The school should have policies that specifically address the bullying problem - and if there is no effective institutional response – there is little incentive for stopping bullying behavior. They need to allow kids to role-play situations……let me get off my soap box.

On Making Her Feel She is the Only One

Should a man catered to his wife insecurities by making her feel ever so important? A man should make his wife feel that she is the only one, the love of his life, but if she doesn’t, whose problem is it? I need this information to help someone.

Domestic Abuse among the young is on the rise. Teens unable to control their emotions strike out at the person they are the closest too. Most bloggers know that I have a niece who was in a very abusive relationship from 17-21. We did everything to save her. We even involved the law who informed us that there was nothing they could do unless she filed charges. No amount of counseling helped her because she was so in love. Our only hope was that she would grow out of it and live to talk about it. Eventually she did. In all my counseling and talking to her as an aunt, I found that she suffered from self esteem issues. Her boyfriend fed off that and used it to keep her down.

I have tried to help at least ten teens in getting out of abusive relationships. Six years ago I sent one young victim, 19 to Florida all expense on me. Guess what! She was back in less than four months right back in the arms of the young abuser. I got involved because I knew her and he left her for dead in an alley. I went to their wedding, three years later. He, sought help through an agency and he went through a male involvement program with counseling. Since that time she informed me that he has never hit her again. They seemed to be happy together. They have been married about three years now. They are both still in counseling. I get regular updates just because the staff in the program knew how much I reached out to her.

Most abusers have a parent who was an abuser or who suffered through this horrendous act. This new abuser swear that they would never abuse anyone. They understand the pain because they watched it and hate the abuser. Yet, most of the time they become what they hate the most.

When I heard about Chris Brown and Rihanna I did a search and found out that he watched his step father beat his mom regularly. He hated his stepfather and still does, yet if the media reports are accurate, he is becoming his stepfather.

I am holding off my judgment against him for I wasn’t there and do not know what happened. I hope that if he did abuse his girlfriend that he seeks help now while he is young. It’s not too late for him to get help. If Chris goes through counseling and anger management treatment and does publicity to show teenagers that hitting and hurting people is a coward’s move and that under no circumstance should they strike out and harm the people they claim to love, he could help many teens stop this stupidity.

I can only pray that these teens learn how to enjoy life without violence and stop moving toward the negative spectum of live.

Big and Beautiful Mo'Nique

This is Mo’Nique supposedly. It was sent to me by my best friend. If it is her I applaud her for losing the weight. But I wonder how does she feel knowing that she led this huge movement about big is beautiful even holding a yearly Fat Beauty Contest. How does she explain that to the women who she told to love their big beautiful self and I am so happy and in love with my fat self? I know you don’t have to explain yourself to no one but still, it’s weird to see someone hype everybody up about accepting being big and to open your email and see that same person getting smaller and smaller. Congratulations Mo'Nique you look great!

It all about self esteem:

People do things for many reasons but most of the time when you dig deep into their lives you find out that they have self esteem issues. I know that when people don't value themselves they do more to harm themselves. But most of these people do not believe they have low self esteem. If there was a magic potion that would help people love themselves and to stop drugging, gang-banging, killing, raping, lying and just plain harming themselves, I would be the first in line to buy it for the anybody who needed to find love in themselves.

Wouldn't it be a better world.......?

Question?

I am trying to think of something that will take my mind off the economy. So much is happening and too many folks are suffering. Everyday I fear seeing the news or opening up a newspaper because another company is closing and people are losing their jobs with possibly no way of getting another one too soon. So today I am going to talk about something else. Let’s see! What about this?

Is Beyonce getting lighter or as they say whiter?


How does one change their skin color over their entire body? Another question… why can’t you love yourself enough to really be you? I mean people loved her darker, so why the change?