Thursday, May 28, 2009

Bail me Out Please!

My nephew called this evening. “Auntie please bail me out of jail.”


I promise I won’t miss another court date.”

“Sorry kid. I warned you to go to court.”

“You’ll get your money back. I promise I’ll go to court this time.”

“How much is your bail?”


“Sorry won’t do. I told you on three different occasions that when you are summons to court, you have to go. This is not your world. There are rules.”

“So you are not going to do it?”


Wow that felt good to say no. Often I run to handle my nieces and nephews every need. But he is 19. Though I know he will make mistakes, this was one he brought on his self. See he was hanging with the wrong crowd and I told him more times then I can remember to stop. A boy in his circle was accused of stealing some food and he took the blame because he did not want to snitch. In the hood, they don’t believe in snitching. Even the person who the food was taken from tried to convince him to tell on his friend. She saw the friend take it and told the police.

But he wouldn’t tell. Since the food was under three hundred dollars, it was a misdemeanor. But after his young sister paid the 150.00 to get him out because he was so afraid, being it was the first time he had ever gotten into trouble, she rescued him. But when the court letters arrived he tore them up. How soon do the tears dry up? Well after he missed the first and second court dates, I told him to call a friend of mines who is a judge.

There is a day in the court system here where you can go on a certain date like I think it is Wednesday and make an agreement with the judge to do community service and pay your fine. He wouldn’t even do that. So this time he has to learn for himself. Mother always said it takes a hard ass to learn.

Hopefully this time he will get back on the straight path. He is the bored, want to be hip/cool former straight “A” student, who thinks he is smarter than everyone else. By the way I tried to talk to him and explain how records can keep you from jobs but these teens think they know the law better than a lawyer. He said misdemeanor don't stop that! This is his life and I have mine. If you try to keep helping someone and they don't listen, your help harms the person more. Because he is not learning any lessons.

I tell you! I'm finally growing up!


JerseyTjej said...

I have a nephew who lost his father several years ago. The demise was lengthy and traumatic and the nephew has subsequently dropped out of school and wants to live off of his social security payments. The father left him a large (6 digit) insurance policy which he will come into when he is 21 and 25. I cannot tell you the anguish I felt when he was stabbed in the head with a screwdriver ( they were "play fighting") and now he has a child on the way at 18. He will take direction from no one and will end up dead before his life begins.
God save our youth.

chele said...

It hurts to say no but like you said, running to his rescue isn't doing him any good.

BostonPobble said...

It is always so painful when we realize our helping has turned to enabling. The fact that it's time to stop doesn't make it any easier to do. Keep finding the strength. {{{hug}}}

TJ said...

You extended so many opportunities to him. Some people just have to learn the hard way. That is so sad and such a waste, but it is so true.

Luke Cage said...

Ahh, you're finally growing up huh? Better late than never miss Rose. I love helping people like the next person, but not at the expense of my own repeated kindness. It's not a good feeling to be taken for a ride. Hey, I'm back on the grind at a new location. Come check me out okay?

Momma Bear said...

I have a young niece who is 19 and since her mother and father have not taken responsibility for she, and her two other siblings, they have had to live with different relatives all of their young lives. They were finally adopted by an aunt who passed away approximately four or five years after taking them on. It's a real long sad story. The two oldest siblings ended up getting an apartment that was paid for by I believe Welfare. Recently my niece went to jail for forgery and theft while her younger brother stayed with a girlfriend. She has been out of jail for a few weeks, but I learned that they have been evicted from the apartment. I just got my basement all cleared out of junk and cleaned up; and now the kids want to put some of their furniture downstairs. The question of my taking them in came up also, but since I cannot trust them and had taken my niece in before; I had to say no. It hurts to say no but sometimes it's necessary. I have had to learn the hardway about taking people in. They always do a number on you.

GC (God's Child) said...

I think you did the right thing
it's a punk who expects his friend to take the fall for him instead of owning up to what he did
If he's so bad why is he hiding?

I'm sorry your nephew is so "honorable" to punks

Anonymous said...

Good for you. I hope he gets it quick the law don't play!