Thursday, February 23, 2006



Are you too in love?

Something strange is happening in African American communities and it is quite scary. First as many folks know suicide is the eighth leading cause of death for all U.S. men. But lately in the area that I live in African American men are now killing their girlfriends and wives in higher numbers. What's wrong with these men? If they want to kill themselves why do they have to take their better halves? This is getting out of hand. In one month there were at least five suicide and murders. Several of these involved even killing the children born to these relationships.

In the past African American men it seemed didn't kill their women at the same rate of others based on information that I have read. But now that gap might be closing. I am not sure what is going on but I know this much is true. Every time I look at the news I am seeing more and more African American men killing their women. No man no matter what race should kill their women no matter what. But if they choose to end their lives, please don't take others.

Yes I want to be loved, but please don't love me to death.


Are you too in love?


28 comments:

AsianSmiles said...

So sad to hear about this. I wonder what makes them do it. Why kill your spouse if you can just get a divorce? And why kill thyself if you can just go away and rebuild a new life somewhere else? I just don't understand. There's just too much unhappiness and hopelessness sometimes.

The Sarccastik Variable Why said...

i hate to hear about anybody killing themselves...and taking some with them...that's crazy...

LivingSingle said...

I was wondering the same thing myself a while back...is it really that serious that you have to kill the girlfriend/wife too? It's crazy. And sad.

chele said...

I see it in the news all the time. I just don't understand. I was once in a relationship when a man threatened to kill me. He also threatened suicide but I believe that was more for attention. I never took him seriously and thankfully that relationship ended non-violently.

Cinthia said...

Love can become so possessive and jealous at times that perhaps the thought of leaving your significant other behind for someone else to have can be too much bear. It is a very selfish act. You can't stand your own life so you choose to take it away, but who says you can take your significant other's as well like that?

Stacy-Deanne said...

I know what you mean. I hear a story everyday about young black women being killed by their boyfriends. It's the same story. They break off the relationship but the man is so obsessed by this time she doesn't know it and a lot of these young ladies end up dead. A few years ago in Houston a black man killed his girlfriend on her college campus because she broke up with him. Rose, I think it is all men because lately Hispanic men have been killing their entire families. We have a gigantic Hispanic presence in Houston. They are the majority here. And everyday the paper has that some Hispanic man has killed his wife and little children (even babies) because he was abusive and she left them. This is just terrible no matter who is doing it. I don't have an answer, Rose. I wish I did. I hate how the world is turning out. I will stay positive in my life but it is hard when you see all of this killing going on. We've also been having a lot of problems with rapes concerning minority men lately in Houston. It's just that a lot of women are with men who are crazy and they don't know it until it's too late.

Stacy-Deanne said...

Oh and about what Chele said, I agree with her on that. I notice a lot of black men in their 20s are committing suicide lately. And it's been happening for a while.

ByeBye said...

Its very sad to know our own is killing each other let along our families. I think this is only going to increase with the lack of affordable help and awareness for depression, lack jobs and security, and the lack of family unity. I know in another community in Houston, Hispanics are killing their girlfriends, kids, and themselves at an alarming rate.... also after the Hurricane Katrina more of our senior citizens are killing themself feeling all was lost and the impossible dream of starting over again.

This is the sign of times and things are only going to get worse instead of better. My only thought is where is our faith, where are the black men in the church (and I'm not talking about the ones cheating behind the pulpit) but those faithful to the word.

ByeBye said...

let me add... my favorite cousin was died at the hands of her husband. He was lacking from his own self esteem after losing his licence to practice law, no income, sex, drinking and drug contributed to his poor choices... but still no God in the picture and I honestly believe without God in your life there's no hope.

ByeBye said...

one more thing... I'm so passionate about domestic abuse... love don't hurt as the hands of someone who claim to love you. If you hits you once believe he will hit you again (it becomes too easy) leave by loving YOU and get out.

Berry said...

Perhaps the statistics are finally being taken...considering our past history of mental illness that developed upon entry into this country I know that it has been a problem in our culture just as it has in other cultures. I just think no one bothered to keep track of it until recently. We have to look at it in a historical context too. I think it's not as simple as black & white.

Shirazi said...

Sad trend. But does anyone is looking into the cause. How do we love and how do we live. May be there is some basic thing deficint there.

lady in satin said...

This is really unfortunate. I'm not sure what to say about it or how to react but I wish that people would get help.

Ruben said...

Unfortunately, domestic abuse seems to be comonplace and thought of as business as usual in some households. I have a cousin who actually married a man that beat her for 20 years and is now stalking him after he left her for another woman. Talk about insanity.

lyre said...

A sad state of affairs but the good news is that we are talking about it. Denial and avoidance dont solve anything. Maybe this dialogue is the first step in curbing violence in our homes.

I just wrote on not wanting my life to head in that direction. living in a bad relationship for years at a time, putting up with Mess and then having it end makes you depressed. I've been there.
That is the brunt of it all. What can we do to curb this disturbing trend? who knows? So many new social problems have crept into our community since our assimilation into mainstream. who knows?
Prayer and self reflection and action to bounce up out of that mental state are keys that I am goig to use so it wont happen to me. And lets not forget blogging to release all that frustration!

Dr. Deborah Serani said...

There is something in the field that we call violent attachments. When love gets fused with attachment and ownership. It is dangerous to say the least.

"N" Search of Ecstasy said...

I have been hearing of many deaths lately due to domestic violence. Men killing their wives or girlfriends because they do not want to let them go. Its just so sad and very scary.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

all i know is that love should be uncoditional

Dee said...

sad really sad!!!!!

Brea said...

That is a scary trend. Nope - I'm not in love. I miss it.

Groove said...

No, If you love someone, You love someone.

I Know personally I love with all of me, there is no halfway when it comes to loving someone.

Sometimes the person you're loving doesn't love you, they are under the impression they do, Maybe mistaken at first, which may make you think you are loving them too much. If you love them, you love them, as I said there is no half way.

Hi there Rose, How are things?

T`Bou said...

Its a sad trend that I see everyday on the news. I'm speechless over this issue since it hits me personally with my sister who died in an abusive relationship.

'ka said...

anything that's too much isn't good.... too in love, hmm, that's a bit scary, no? :)

Jaimie said...

Disturbing.

Could it possibly be due to pressure from society to do more, have more, what you have is never enough? It seems that people always want more and are unsatisfied. They give up and leave faster. Maybe the men just snap.

Rose, I did a post about this about a month or two ago, based on a frien's coworker who was murdered by her boyfriend. Read it when you get a chance. "One Flew Over" it's titled.

jasai said...

There is no such thing as "too in love" that is where the mistake is being made. These men definately do NOT love these women. Murder is not a characteristic of love.

obatkanker serviks said...

Teman saya pernah terkena kutil kelamin di sekitar bibir vaginanya, sangat mengerikan. di sekitar vagina tersebut di tumbuhi daging kaya kutil dan itu banyak sekali pokoknya menakutkan sekali. Tapi setelah minum obat Penyakit kutil kelamin wanita dari herbal, dalam waktu 2 hari sudah kering. Mantap banget virus HPV ini sehingga nanti kedepannya khsusunya untuk kaum pria dapat menjaga diri agar terhindar dari penyakit ini obat alternatif herbal paling manjur

obat wasir ambeien said...

cara mengobati wasir ambeien tanpa harus operasi aman paling jos

obat wasir ambeien said...

cara mengobati wasir ambeien tanpa harus operasi aman paling jos