Thursday, February 12, 2009

Domestic Abuse among the young is on the rise. Teens unable to control their emotions strike out at the person they are the closest too. Most bloggers know that I have a niece who was in a very abusive relationship from 17-21. We did everything to save her. We even involved the law who informed us that there was nothing they could do unless she filed charges. No amount of counseling helped her because she was so in love. Our only hope was that she would grow out of it and live to talk about it. Eventually she did. In all my counseling and talking to her as an aunt, I found that she suffered from self esteem issues. Her boyfriend fed off that and used it to keep her down.

I have tried to help at least ten teens in getting out of abusive relationships. Six years ago I sent one young victim, 19 to Florida all expense on me. Guess what! She was back in less than four months right back in the arms of the young abuser. I got involved because I knew her and he left her for dead in an alley. I went to their wedding, three years later. He, sought help through an agency and he went through a male involvement program with counseling. Since that time she informed me that he has never hit her again. They seemed to be happy together. They have been married about three years now. They are both still in counseling. I get regular updates just because the staff in the program knew how much I reached out to her.

Most abusers have a parent who was an abuser or who suffered through this horrendous act. This new abuser swear that they would never abuse anyone. They understand the pain because they watched it and hate the abuser. Yet, most of the time they become what they hate the most.

When I heard about Chris Brown and Rihanna I did a search and found out that he watched his step father beat his mom regularly. He hated his stepfather and still does, yet if the media reports are accurate, he is becoming his stepfather.

I am holding off my judgment against him for I wasn’t there and do not know what happened. I hope that if he did abuse his girlfriend that he seeks help now while he is young. It’s not too late for him to get help. If Chris goes through counseling and anger management treatment and does publicity to show teenagers that hitting and hurting people is a coward’s move and that under no circumstance should they strike out and harm the people they claim to love, he could help many teens stop this stupidity.
I can only pray that these teens learn how to enjoy life without violence and stop moving toward the negative spectum of live.


Believer 1964 said...

I agree, there is always a way to rectify and better yourself. If true, I hope he chooses the right path.

Deb S. said...

No one wants to hear a story like this one. I hope all parties can move on. Life is short.


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chele said...

This is such a sad story.

TJ said...

I hope that both of them get help, because sometimes women who find themselves victim to domestic abuse go on to date/become involved with other abusers, and that's not a good look.

Dr. Deb said...

Great post, Rose.

Starlight said...

This is such an unfortunate situation for both of these to young vibrant entertainers. They both have such great careers ahead of them and to have this following them for the rest of their lives will be sad.

They must turn this into a positive outcome because the world's eye is on them now. Just waiting to see what positive choice their going to make now.

I hope that Chris gets the counseling that he needs and it's not just a short term of 3 days of counseling. It's not going to do it!

They need to give each other sometime while they heal. Both of them need to get counseling before they make any decisions about getting back together!

If they do this then I think they will know what's the best decision to make for both of them together. What ever decision they make it has to be one that they both can live with if they are in as much love as they say!

They have the money for counseling why not use it to benefit them both! She needs it just as much as he does!