Monday, January 12, 2009

Affairs of the Heart

Can men and women be just friends? My experiences say yes. I kissed my best male friend in our pre-marriage days. It was weird. Initially I think we were both smitten with each other. I probably was more than he was. He was a basketball player and we were close friends who could talk about everything including relationships.
One summer a group of our friends attended this party and just spent the evening hanging out. We ended up talking way too much and next thing I knew he was taking me home but we decided to stop at his house for something. I don’t remember what. But we ended up kissing each other passionately and pretty much groping on each other. As things progressed we found ourselves laughing and pushing each other away. It was weird when we realized that we were kissing each other like some love struck teenagers. Seriously, our friendship would not let this thing go any further. "Don't ever kiss me again," I said. "That didn't feel right."
To this day, almost 20 something years later we are still just as tight as we were back then. Even his wife realized that we were truly best friends. You know initially she thought we were having an affair. My husband understood it.
I remember one year he picked me up for my birthday and took me to lunch and being popular in politics his wife called to tell him that she received a dozen calls about him being with a woman. Trust me she went off on them too. She laughed because she knew it was me.
Even though I believe that men and women can be best friends without romance, I know it is based on realness too. See I also know women who used that best friend angle to try to take another woman's husband. So I think it just depends on what the person is looking for. In our case we weren't looking for anything, but we found best friends for life.


chele said...

My best friend is a man. We grew up together and we've always been just friends. However, I don't see myself going out and making a new male friend now without getting flack from my beau.

Luke Cage said...

My best friend is a woman miss Rose and we are going on 21 years of friendship. Yes, I won't lie to you and say that there wasn't an attraction (from both of us), but we just weren't a fit for each other at all. Not in the romantic sense anyway.

But I do feel bad for her boyfriends. She talks about me way too much for them to accept me as "just" a friend. But I think that it helps that I'm married and way down south too.

One thing I will tell you is, and that's going from experience... yes, men and women can be just friends and best ones at that! Here's to you guys.

TJ said...

I've always had male friends, so I think it's possible.

Believer 1964 said...

It's all about trust in the marriage and the character of the parties involved.

I myself would be skeptical, but then again I know I have issues. ;)

Anonymous said...

This is an interesting topic. I think you have to be respectful of who you are with. Any little comment that crosses the line can send you into the danger zone.

BostonPobble said...

The Muppet and I have been just friends from the beginning. There really isn't even an attraction between us. There is, however, a bond ~ of friendship, love and trust. For the winter holiday one year, he gave me a garnet stud from his first ever pair of earrings. It's only come out to be cleaned since then. When I left MA, I gave him an earring out of my ear that has powerful symbolism to it. He wears it still. But the thought of being physical with him or dating him...ew.