Thursday, May 17, 2007

With Friends like this: Who needs them?


I once had a so-called best friend who became infatuated with my husband. I could tell because she always found herself in his presence. My husband could not move without her on the back of his shoe. I watched her carefully and told my husband that my friend had a bad crush on him. He laughed because he thought it was so funny and that I was imagining things. It wasn’t until my parents came to live with me after a house fire that I became absolutely certain about her feelings. My husband is a family man. He was in the kitchen cooking a dinner for my parents. My friend came over and sat in the kitchen with us as my husband prepared dinner. He's a better cook than I am. At some point during the dinner prep time I went into our extra bedroom to talk to my mother while dad left to wash his hands. As he crossed the hallway, he saw my friend grab my husband in a way that was inappropriate. My husband pushed her. Dad rushed to the room and told me to get out there because my friend was making her move.

I came out and she had a weird look on her face. I informed her that she could leave because we were getting ready for dinner. She knew that was unusual for me to send her packing but she left. Dad told me that she was trying to push up on my husband and that he had been noticing her staring at him and touching him lightly on the leg, shoulder etc. I saw the same thing but pushed my thoughts away as I did not want to be seen as the accusing jealous wife. I wasn’t concern that my husband would do anything because we had only been married 4 years at the time and I knew without a doubt that he was in love, faithful and would never hit on a friend with my parents in the house. Honestly, I trusted him. You have to know my husband to understand why I did not fear he would waver. I dump the friend though. We had been together more than 15 years. Still I knew why she felled for him. It was the same reason that I did.

I thought of this today when I saw that Denise Richards and Richie Sambora had broken up after a year of being together. I thought about friendships and how valuable they are. I thought about my best friends, (I have two) and how I would surely miss them in my life if our relationship ended. Was it worth it to Denise to sleep with and date her best friend’s husband? Was it worth it to be seen as a back stabber and a husband stealer? Better yet, will any women every trust her around their men? I don’t think so. For her it will be the price she will pay for that one year of being with a man who probably never intended to stay with her anyway. Think about it! Why would a man trust a woman who back stabbed her best friend anyway? As a man in a situation like that, I would not trust her around my male friends or my teenage sons. If she didn’t consider her best friends feelings why would she care about him or anyone else. That’s something to think about!

11 comments:

Shai said...

I agree Rose. I was thinking as I read your post how people will throw everything to the side for a fleeting moment.

Denise now has no man or friend. Go figure. I know breakups are hard so why make things worse making bad decisions that hurt others.

Dr. Deb said...

I have seen this happen with other friends and the same thing unravels. No one trusts again.

BostonPobble said...

*sigh*

Sometimes I truly do not understand people and the choices they make. Or why some women are so desperate not to be alone that they are willing to betray their friends and themselves.

Clare said...

Good post Rose and you are right that Denise will find it hard to have someone trust her after this.

Liz said...

Wow, I can't believe your ex-friend. That's so sad. As for Denise, I still can't believe what went down with them. It's really sad that she was so short sighted. I have also found myself feeling so sorry for her kids.

Luke Cage said...

SHAZAM!!! I am so in the dark. Is this the same Denise Richards that was married to Charlie Sheen? Did she really do THAT? And now she's split with this dude? Yo!!!! That is some new form of retribution for your azzzz!

My wife told me that she has a friend that she will not allow to come to our house unless she's there. She never saw this friend do anything towards me, but this friend apparently said the wrong thing to my wife about me in some flattering but tasteless way. She won't tell me the details about what was said but needless to say, unless my wife is there at the house, neither will her friend.

chele said...

I don't understand friends like that. You're such a lady for handling it the way you did. Cause I probably would've had gone off.

TJ said...

When I was a kid, my aunt who had a best friend, who I'll call "J." J. was my aunt's bestest buddy and confidante. They went everywhere together. They were tight. So tight that J. ended up breaking up my aunt's marriage and is still with my ex-uncle.

You handled your situation well and very lady like. I would have dumped her at the first sign of a crush. I'm just touchy like that. LOL.

Oh and Denise AND Richie aint worth a dime behind that mess, but Denise will probably maintain the stigma longer cause that's how our society works.

princessdominique said...

Great post. Crazy how people think it's okay to make a move like that.

Stephen Bess said...

That's bad. Yeah, who needs friends like that. As men, we sometime miss what our wife may see as plain as day. We're just not looking for it or we ignore it or we notice it and don't care. We figure...I'm not going to get with her anyway.

JerseyTjej said...

Shai said it best! I don't understand HOW people can throw their whole lives away for a fleeting moment!!!

My grandmother and great aunt used to call such women "wife thieves" . As Nana explained it, " She stole that womans husband, that makes her a wife thief". LOL!