Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Why won't they Listen?

Today the CBS news station in St. Louis reported that a 15-year old girl was missing and had not been seen since Sunday. Her computer was confiscated and they heard the voice of an older male on her computer coaxing the girl to come to another small city. Hopefully she will make it and they will find her alive.

Parents and the news constantly talk about the dangers of these sex predators contacting young girls and talking them into meeting them. Some girls are murdered while others are raped, yet these teens continue to do this.

How many parents will have to lose their children because they will not listen? I don't know what I would do if my daughter was talking to strangers and meeting them. You try hard to make sure that your child has the things that will make them comfortable. You put on controls to keep them safe, yet they learn to by-pass these things and do what they want.

I do realize that teens are very different today than we were. When I was a teenager, and someone tried to get me to meet them alone I would tell my brothers and they would take it from there. Kids today think they are so much wiser than their parents. They disobeyed them every single time until they or in deep trouble. Sometimes they get so deeply out there parents are not able to help them, still some when they make the decision to do something unsafe they will not even tell in many cases their closest friends.

Every time I open the paper I read about a teenager who went to meet a stranger and utterly it led to their death, yet even with this in the news, the numbers of deaths and rapes doesn't seem to be decreasing. Why won't teens listen and look at the news and understand that this stuff is real? This is not a joke. I pray that children and teenagers including my daughter will listen and heed advice to be safe, not sorry.

It saddens me when I see a parent on the news pleading for the safe return of their children.


Deb S. said...

This is, indeed, sad. In order to keep kids safe, I think parents need to do more than talk.

I am a firm believer that kids should not have computers in their room - at least computers with access to the Internet. I keep my computer in a common area of the house. Kids are less likely to engage in risky online behavior if they are being monitored.

I believe that it's just as important to monitor my child's Internet usage as it is to monitor what she watches on TV and listens to on the radio.

A principal I know allows his son to keep an old computer in his room on which he can play games. But the computer hooked up to the Internet is in the family room.

You can't be with your kid 24/7, and you can't lock them in their rooms until they're 21 (even though many of us wish we could). But we can continue to talk with them regularly (talk, not lecture) and keep an eye on them.

Technology has changed the world since we were kids. But I think that teenagers of our generation have at least one thing in common with teenagers of today. Young people think that they are immortal and that they are covered with Teflon.

Luke Cage said...

Luv, the reason why so many teens won't listen and heed the warnings is because they never suspect that they could be a potential victim.

When I was a younger Cage in my teens, I used to see all of the things that my peers would get into and get away with them. My mother dissuaded me from following in their footsteps because for every one of them that were successful in pulling something off that they had no business doing, there were always the followers (like myself) who got caught.

But never on the level of sneaking out, meeting a stranger and getting killed. Plus, kids today are thrill seekers. Their attention span is short and they are always looking towards that next big fix! But, I only come from a perspective of looking from the outside in.

As a man who is childless, this is what I suspect is happening in the minds of our youths. Whose to say I could be completely off. It is sad, that a parent is outliving their kids and only because that kid was adventurous.

sweetness said...

yes yes yes this darn hip hop generation parents need to start getting nosey. they need to check these kid log history. they need to keep these kids busy that when they come home they are too tired to play on the computer they just want to do their homework, eat and go to bed. these parents need to stop having these kids when they can't afford them. since they can't afford them they have to get a second job. then it's young single mother are raising these kids and there busy themselves tryin to find a man.
i'm in nyc and i work in the hospital. it was on the new yesterday that a 14yr old deliverd her baby in her room and the following day she throw it out the window. that same girl is now a pt at my hospital. i went up to see her and she looks pregnant. how the hell didn't her mother notice. it's these parents not the school system!

princessdominique said...

I think parents need to parent and stop worrying about angering their kids or trying to be their child's friend. We are the adults here. We better learn or else. If you find out your child has been chatting or exchanging information improperly, confiscate the computer.

Shai said...

I have to agree with Luge Cage. I had friends that did things I would not. I have to admit I snuck and did things I knew I was not supposed to do.

These kids now are thrill seekers and feel invincible. Hell, adults are doing the same thing, going out to meet strangers on the Net.

A woman in my area was on TV saying how a guy she only knew for a month came to her apartment, they had sex, then we they were at the store he stole her car. He had NO car and she slept with him on the first meeting.

So we can monitor the computers and tell them but really can we protect them. Didn't some of us do sneaky stuff where it was dangerous?

@Sweeteness: Girl, I had a friend who did that. She put the baby on a neighbor's porch. She delivered in her bathroom and hid the baby till her mom left. Almost 18 years later, her mom asked us why we did not tell her she was pregnant. I was like how could we, plus she looked pregnant as hell and went full term.

Shai said...

@Deb: Let's be real kids will find a way whether at the library, school or a friend's house. All you can do is talk and pray.

Sugar said...

Amen to everybody! You can only tell them what they need to do, make sure you keep track of what they do as much as possible and hope they follow through. I was just speaking with a friend of mine today about the fact that these kids don't have enough to do. Constructive things I mean.

If my kids aren't involved in extra-curricular activities, and they are old enough to work, they are gonna be somewhere bagging groceries or cooking fries because when they have too much free time, they get into all sorts of things. But, even at that, they can still slip into things, if they intend to do it.

Kathi McIntire Bratcher said...

It takes time to know where your kids are and what they're doing every minute of every day, and courage to face your kids wrath for doing so...but like I say over and over...parenting just isn't for cowards.

I agree with deb,too, as much as I love and trust my kids, I'd never, ever, give them internet access in their room.

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