Monday, August 29, 2005

What a beautiful baby girl!


This is my dream baby. She is my great niece. I have a seventeen-year-old niece whom I have spent many, many hours with trying to be a positive role model. I have taught her how to budget, pleaded with her to finish school and explained to her how difficult it would be for a teen mom to raise a child. So you know I taught her about abstaining from sex before marriage. But you know what-I talked until I was blue in the face because she didn't listen. She felled in love and did the do.. This beautiful child is the result of her indiscretion. So you know what-until this child became her reality she didn't truly understand what bringing a young child into her life unprepared meant. Now she is going through the blues-you know-wanting to go out with friends, but having no babysitter, wanting to work, no transportation and no money for child care, wanting to buy in styled cute clothing-can't do-baby needs pampers and milk. She is now a struggling single parent. You guessed it-the boy who is 16 ran like hell. He didn't want to be a father this young-he just wanted some. You know what I mean? But their can't wait to have you attitude brought this beautiful child into the world. Trust me-she is even more beautiful than this picture. So you know what-she is constantly calling, "come get her-I didn't have her by myself-she ain't got no daddy. I can't ever go anywhere. I need pampers and milk. You can have her"...Then she cries-"I want my baby she is not yours",....Oh the pain of a child having a child. You see I live 30 miles away one way. So when she cries out, I convince her to hold out until Friday-then I go and pick up Tamyra and keep her for the whole weekend. I do this because I love this child and I love the one who had her. But my daughter believes that I am giving her a free pass to get pregnant again. I don't think so. I believe that I am teaching a young mother how to call for help so that she will not abuse her child. She is still in school, she loves her baby, and just Saturday she started training for her new job at a restaurant. She is trying. It's just too much for her. Plus she lives with her grandmother who is 68 years old. Even though her sister and brother who are 16 and 15 is trying to help, its' not their problem. So we all pitch in...Because we want the best for this child. She is special. She is good baby-rarely cries. She has watery eyes that runs all the time but the she is on medication to stop that. Through it all she continues to smile. Everyday I learn more about teens-no matter what you expose them to, no matter how hard you explain life to them, until they experience it on their own, they will not hear you, then reality hits and it hurts-but we have to teach them to pick up the pieces and keep going. They must keep learning and educating themselves even when they fail to heed warnings. Nothing beats a failure but not trying to improve and doing it again. Next time I think she will think before she has unprotected sex because not only did she get dumped, she has no support from that side of the family. So hopefully now she believes what we tried to tell her all along.

23 comments:

Shirazi said...

Ya, lovely angle.

Deb S. said...

* Understanding the importance of raising resilient children.
* Balancing the act of monitoring our children, giving them structure, yet letting go to give our kids an opportunity to grow.
* Learning how to listen to our kids.
* Using their missteps as teachable moments.
* Knowing how to forgive our children and display unconditional love.

In my humble opinion, the best parents and guardians possess these attributes.

The child who bounces back from his/her mistakes has parents who avoid their own pity parties. The world is full of well-intentioned parents who, in their on their own “embarrassment,” fail to minister to their child.

From the Christian Bible:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Rose, your nieces are very fortunate to have an aunt who cares. And you are blessed to have them. The road ahead will not always be easy. But I have the feeling that you never back down from a challenge.

gramyactress@21 said...

She has a kissable face. kissy Kissy MR. ronnie. OOps got caught in the moment thinking about my baby. that baby is so gorgeous. Keep being a blessing to her. God says that he would put more on us than we can handle. I think that baby and no father was too much for her so God sent a little help to ease the sorrow and pain. Big ups to and yours.

RuffEndOfThePineapple said...

That child is so nice, where do I get one? My daughter is great, but I need to act more sweet

peachesncream said...

SHE IS SUCH A CUTIE PIE! I would like to let you know that I have change my blog address. Please e-mail me at kittylover_princess2005@yahoo.com "Subject Line: New Site-- (your name) and I will give it to you thanks!

lady in satin said...

That was beautiful.

I am 22 years old, and I can remember being 5 years old and my parents having the sex talk with me. My mother pounded it in MY head, with me being the oldest, not to have sex, and not to bring any children home because she would kick me out if I did!! The reason being is she had me, her first and oldest child, when she was 16 and she didn't want me to make the same mistakes. She was extremely hard on me and overprotective and strict to the 10th degree. But with all her preaching to me about not having children, she failed to be as effective with my younger sister, who is one year younger than I am. She is now 20, going to be 21 this year and she has a one year old and is pregnant again. Now, I don't totally consider this a unfortunate situation because she is married to her baby's father, but to say the least, they are no where near rich. They are struggling young parents. Their first child was and still is a handful (even to me), imagine what two children will be like!!

I just wish that she would have waited!! She could have went on to college and finished her degree and found a good paying job. But she chose her path and she is living with it. I love my niece so much, she is a precious little girl. I'll have to post a pic of her on my blog.

Thanks for sharing this post with us!!

Rose said...

Thank you Shirazi

Rose said...

dcs
I love my family members and though they sometimes does things that disappoint I am hopeful that they use their failures as growing experiences. I'm not talking about my baby Tamyra. She is not a mistake. She just came too early but now that she is here we will love her unconditionally.

Rose said...

Gramyactress@21,
Don't ya just love babies? They are so innocent.

Rose said...

ruffendofthe pineapple,
I don't know where you can get one. She is very nice and sweet but you can't have mines. That is my babygirl.

Rose said...

peachesandcream,
sorry you have to change your blog...see you at your neew site.

Rose said...

lady in satin,
I can't wait to see your neice. It's hard struggling with young and being in a new marriage. You arre just getting used to each othr and getting to know each other's tolerance levels, hot ppoints, good points, etc.

Deb S. said...

Rose, I just read your response to me. It's clear how much you love your nieces. I never believed for one moment that you considered your grand niece to be a mistake. No child is a mistake.

I hope I didn't come across as judgmental about your loved ones because I didn't mean to. If anything, I may have been writing about my own clan!

You have a beautiful family, my sister. But you, the Rose, are the most beautiful of them all.

Deb S. said...

If I didn't say so before, your baby niece is just a doll! What a precious gift. Enjoy her.

jazeGma2 said...

It breaks my heart to see such a horrific disaster. I don’t think there any words that can truly describe what these people are really going through. I just don’t understand why they can not get in and the divide military or SOS to rescue the sick, those in the city and focus on those left in the water. The News Reporters are getting in close enough so they can report on this horrific disaster, so why can’t they get in!! Yes, we all need to give what ever we can to help these people no matter how big or small we all need to come together and let the power of God work.

“Father we come to you in the name of “Jesus “ your on begotten son, asking you to deliver and save all of the people in these cities of disaster. We ask you father to touch each and every one of them letting thy Holy Sprit be a vessel of strength and healing unto their soul. Father we ask, that you wrap your loving arms around each and every one of them, protecting them from all diseases harm and danger. Father we ask, that you unit each and everyone of them with their love ones and heal the hearts of those who have lost their family and friends.

Father sometimes we may not understand, but we know that the act of nature is in your hands and your hands only. Fore we know, that there is no greater love or healing power than the power within you and your hands. Amen


Mark 9:29 And he said unto them, This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting
Psalms 88:2 Let my prayer come before thee: incline thine ear unto my cry;

Thank you Jesus for hearing our pray

jazeGma2 said...

She is a little doll. There is nothing more precious then our beautiful little babies. There are many situations that we seem to experience, and not understanding whey these things happened as they do. Questioning and trying to analyze the situation. This did not have to happen if….

Parenting is never easy because we want the best for our children. We do not want them to struggle or feel the burden of heavy problems. That is the natural side of a mother as well as our ability to nurture and love our children.

We all love our children so very much and strive to give them a solid foundation of guidance and love in so many ways, especially loving them with unconditional love. Yet we each make a choice that sets our path that God has laid and chosen for us. I believe within that path he “our heavenly father” has given us the choice to turn on to various roads of our life. “Already planed by God “our heavenly father” Now once we turn onto or go down that road it’s what, where and how we go from there.

We can talk, and talk and talk till we are blue, purple, red and black in the face. Just like the preacher’s daughter…. Everyone surprised his daughter popped up pregnant! Now we would expect that to be a shocker… for some, they may say, “it aint no surprise to me.”

Keeping in mind each road has been carefully thought out by our heavenly father. Some of life’s roads are more difficult to travel on but your love, guidance and your niece’s perseverance will see her through.

Think back during the time of our fore fathers when young women were having babies; all though some of them were of mixed races… these were some of our strongest black women birthing some of our strong black leaders through heritage. Don’t get me wrong! I do “feel ya” on this… Remember the old saying “It Takes a Village to Raise a Child.” Uh’ that hasn’t changed, only the wording “It takes not only a community but most of all it takes a loving family whether mother, aunt, sister, grandmother or uncle.

A baby is supposed to be a blessing that bring blessings and an abundance of love with them, regardless of if we are ready or not. Some of our young mothers’ are experiencing so much at an early age. Struggling to scrape up enough change to go family dollar to buy a $7.00 pack of pampers. This is hard for some of them to realize this your responsibility whether your ready or not. It really takes some sinking in for them.

So continue to enjoy you bundle of joy fore as much as she is a blessing, she has brought that much more of a blessing to your niece. Just by you being a blessing giving her love, (unconditional) and support you are giving her the drive to want to do more not only for her child but for herself but as well. This has allowed her to continue to stay in school to educate her self and work.

I take my hat off to you both. With you in her comer, she too may be one of our strong black leaders with a loving story tell.

Rose said...

jazegma2,
Thank you for your responses. Your prayer for the refugees will go along way. They need much prayer and I know that many folks are during just that. These people are going through something that is horrible. In this situation I am not sure how I would have responded. But I pray that they can be relieved of getting out of live. Pray on sister. For where there is prayer there is much power.

Rose said...

My beautiful bouncing neice is such a joy that even my sister and her husband in Georgia call often to see about her. As a matter of fact they only vist once a year but are talking about coming back because they want to see her. They were even thinking about asking my neice can they raise her in Georgia. They are dealing with the empty syndrome. Their only son recently moved out and they are missing him. Anyway, everybody wants her. But we are going to make sure that my neice accepts responsibility and raise her daughter. But trust me, we have her back.

***Double_Oh_No*** said...

Tamyra is a little doll! Seeing this pic of her makes me want a girl even more now! :)

In my own opinion, there should be stricter laws prohibiting young men from doing the "hit and run." It angers me so to hear that this little girl will likely never know her father and that he won't be there to take part in her life. I don't condone pre-marital sex, though the sad truth is that it can happen even to those who are married. Men seem to freak out about fatherhood when they're not prepared mentally...and I don't think any new parents are ever fully prepared!

Your daughter is doing the right thing by hanging in there and finishing school. She is lucky to have your support, especially on those rough days when she feel like she can't handle it all. I know how I got to feeling at times after Clayton was born, and even though I was married to a fairly supportive husband, I still had those crazy-emotion days where it really would have helped to have a mother to talk to.

I am a Milliner's Dream, a woman of many "hats"... said...

I honor your neice for giving life and trying to make lemonade out of lemons--and glad she has you.

Thanks for coming by my blog, Rose! Nice to meet you.

Hh

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